Monday, June 16, 2014

Thanks for the memories

Today was my last high school English class, and I found myself getting slightly sentimental
We sat there in our desks discussing Hamlet and grammar and I wanted to be the one to scream "Remember this."
Remember this because I never thought it would happen but it did and now it's here and it's beautiful and I never want to let it go.
I wanted champagne. I wanted toasts and balloons and pictures. I wanted speeches and moments I can hang on my wall.
Instead I got smiles and laughter and the way his eyes sparkled and I willed myself not to forget a single moment of it.
I want to stay like this forever. In this place where I know there will always be a twinkling eye to greet me every morning, and that even if I don't want to I will laugh. Sometimes there will be embarrassing pictures on my phone. Sometimes there will be cartoons on the side of my homework that I didn't draw there. Sometimes I will be annoyed with these people as much as I enjoy them, and sometimes I will experience both in the same breath.
But at the end of the day we had this. We had this room, and this class, and each other. And maybe I'm the crazy one for wanting to hold on to this for as long as I possibly can.
I know I can't keep it clenched between my fists, that moving on is inevitable.
And maybe all this is was a shout into the void, but it was something. I have to believe it was something. It won't last and it's built on teenage emotion and being shoved in a classroom together for an hour a day, five days a week, but it's something.
 When I entered this class, I never expected to find what I did. I learned Shakespeare, and that people are amazing. If you let them, they'll surprise you.
In this moment, we are beautiful.
In this moment, I swear we are infinite.

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