I was never not meant to be here...
There was never a chance that I wasn't going to be here in this moment, writing this blog post and watching baby birds learn how to fly and practicing yoga on the bedroom floor and not being on a plane headed halfway around the world. There was never a moment when I wasn't going to be here.
I woke up this morning, groaned, rolled over and slept for another hour. Because today, 10 months out from my Dysautonomia diagnosis and the day the people I love are getting on a plane and going to Africa without me, I knew I was going to need the extra sleep.
Scrolling through my news feed this morning, one message kept popping up, one thought kept dancing through everything I read.
Love where you are, love who you're with, love with heart and arms wide open. Love now because this is exactly where you are supposed to be and love even though your heart is broken and love from where you're at and you are loved. You are loved and you are here, in this moment, for a reason and you can't let them take your happy. You can't let them take it and stuff it in a suitcase rolled up beside cargo pants and canned meat because you need it here. You deserve to be happy. You are loved and you were never not meant to be here right now so let go. Let go of everything you've been holding on to and all these ideas you had of how you think life should go and breathe them all out and breathe in love.
That's what I read this morning. In my inbox and in blog posts and Facebook statuses, one word kept coming up. Love.
It's hung on my bedroom wall and yet so easily I forget that I am love. I am loved so deeply and I have the power to love the whole world. Inside of my blood stream and in my veins and muscle and bone I want there to be love. I want to feel it inside of me with every breath, breathing it in so in turn I can breathe it out into this world I live in, the place I am at right now.
Because that lady at the park, she deserves to know she is loved
And the librarian, she deserves to know she is loved
And the woman in her car in a parking lot with her head in her hands, she deserves to know she is loved
And those boys riding their bikes, and that mother trying to control her playful children and those construction workers in the noon day sun, they deserve to know they are loved.
You don't need to travel half way around the world to find people who need love. They are right in front of you, in stores and walking down the street and driving cars and sitting on corners and holding signs, they all deserve to know they are loved.
And when I breathe in love, when I let go of things I cannot control and accept that I was never meant to not be here and this is where I'm called and I am here for a reason, I have the potential to love the whole world. And you do too.
When we live like we are loved, something amazing happens.
The only life worth knowing is the one right in front of me.
The other lives, the places you wish you could be and the people you wish you could be with, don't let them take your happy. Don't let them keep you from living the one life you were given in the one place you were called and loving the people right in front of you.
Breathe in love and let it be enough. Breathe it in and let it ground you in the present, in where you are right now. Breathe in love and let it change you, let it manifest happiness because you were never supposed to be somewhere other than where you are right now. Breathe it in and breathe it back out into the world, because the people around you deserve to know they are loved.
Love where you are, right now.
You are here for a reason, and you were never supposed to be somewhere other than here. Maybe you don't know why yet, but maybe you aren't supposed to. Just go where you're needed and breathe love, letting it be your offering.