Monday, August 13, 2012

Resilient

I was writing a letter today to a friend of mine. It was just silly notes, scribblings in an old notebook, but I came across a very interesting surprise.
My friend is amazing. Only after having one conversation, I knew we were going to be close. And we are. We're kindred spirits. My friend has gone through a lot. Our stories are so wierdly similar it's crazy.
I was writing this letter, and I was writing it for both of us. I wrote that people like us, we've been handed everything. Every little blow, it seems to happen to people like us. You know the kind of people I'm talking about? The ones that seem like, when you hear their story you wonder, "How the heck did they survive ALL that?"
Yeah, there's a special club for people like us, and you're not in it 'till you're in it. You can try to understand, and sympathize, but until you feel that loss...
I was thinking, about her, and about me, and I was thinking we've lost a lot. And then, I came to this realization: "We've had the worst crap happen to us. But we overcame it, and we continue to overcome it. We're resilient."
It took me a minute to realize that I was talking about myself too. My friend, yeah, she's resilient. But me... well it's harder to see that.

re·sil·ient
adj.
1. Marked by the ability to recover readily, as from misfortune.
2. Capable of returning to an original shape or position, as after having been compressed
 
I paused for a moment. My letter stopped there. Resilient. The word resounded in my head like an echoing chorus.
I want to ask the question, "Really, me? Me, who can't seem to get it right, and who feels like she's failing at a lot, and who is unsure about where the future is taking her and feels so incredibly messed up? You sure you're talking about that girl?"
And then the silent whisper answers back - the whisper that is both myself and not me- saying, yes.
Yes you, because you got out of bed this morning. Yes you, because you are still here, still breathing, still hoping, still encouraging, still loving.
You, you are resilient too. You are still here, still feeling and breathing and being alive. You, and me, we're resilient.
 
 "You can get over a bad childhood. You can have the worst crap in the world happen to you. You can get over it. All you gotta do is survive"

1 comment:

Anna said...

Really, really interesting. Really true as well!