Saturday, December 29, 2012

I'm the girl who always says goodbye but never knows how to leave

I know I'm always writing so you think I'm good with words but I can hardly express how I feel.
There's so much going on in this head of mine, so much I wish I knew but don't.
I wish I knew where I was going next, but I have no idea. if I did I wouldn't be hiding behind so many paperbacks and staring at so many blank walls, hovering in door ways, coming from no where and headed no where.
I'm the girl who always says goodbye but never knows how to leave.
Tonight is one of those nights when I wonder if I'll ever be able to write the things I want to, if I'll ever be able to figure out this thing they call life, if I'll ever be able to stop wandering long enough to get myself un-lost.
I feel like I can only repeat the words other people say, grasping at sentances and paragraphs with cold fingers, trying to find some wisdom in the words of others.
So this is me, trying to get it right this time.

I have solar powered confidence and a battery operated smile. My hobbies include editing my life's story, hiding behind metaphors and trying to convince my shadow that I'm someone worth following. You know, I don't know much, but I do know this: I know that Heaven is full of music. And I know that God - He listens to my heartbeat on His IPod. It reminds Him that we've still got work to do.

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