Saturday, July 7, 2012
my life is a mystery ~ full of wants and wishes
I want to write about awesomeness...
I want to write about the awesome guy at the zoo wearing a kilt with long hair tied back into a ponytail, and earrings and these awesome boots.
I want to write about going to Cora's for breakfast this morning (restaurant, not a person's house) and trying this pork pate thing, because there's nothing I don't want to try once
I want to write about buying the new Maroon 5 album this morning at Starbucks, while I sipped my morning latte
I want to write about this guy I saw on the L.R.T coming back to the hotel from the Stampede, and how even though I was kind of staring like a crazy lady, I couldn't look away because there's something you see when you look at somebody else, that kind of connection that can't be explained, where you wonder what their story is, and you wonder if you look like that to other people
I want to write about sitting in the rain at the Stampede, and throwing my head back in laughter and feeling the rain on my skin and wondering if this is what being alive feels like
I want to write about reading this book for the millionth time because it feels like coming home, and it feels safe and secure when everything around me isn't
I want to write about all these questions going round and round inside my head, questions with no answers, or the answers leading to even more questions
I want to write about love, and those people...
I want to do things because I can and to live dangerously, outside the lines. I want to say what I think and to mean what I say and to have confidence and boldness and passion.
I don't want to live my life inside the lines, but outside of them, crossing them.
I want to write stories, and novels, and art
I want to write about all these fears and hopes and all these emotions inside of me that don't belong to anyone else, but sometimes i wish they did
I want to tell stories, my own story, and other people's, and I want to hear other people's stories about what makes them laugh, and cry, and hurt, and love
I want to stop writing a post starting with the words 'I want' because if I went on writing about everything I wanted right now in this very moment this post would be long...
I want to travel, and to fall in love, and to find something I'm passionate about, and to know what i want, and to live a life full of courage and bravery and strength, full of hope and vibrancy and maybe a little bit of magic. I want to say all those things I don't say but wish I did, and to be honest more, and to spend my days wandering through book stores and coffee shops wearing dresses.
I want to live fully, completely, 100%. I am afraid of the un-lived life.
I want to live fully, or not at all...