Here's a little snippet from what I have so far... Enjoy!
Monday, February 11, 2010
Today I had another ‘session’ with Claire. I was surprised at the joy that filled my tiny heart when I stumbled back into the Lilac room. Claire was waiting for me, donned in another bohemian dress that flowed down around her ankles. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun at the base of her neck with a few stray tendrils dangling around her face.
I flopped down on the couch, rearranging the pillows around myself.
“How are things?” Claire asked, resting her head in her hand,
I proceeded to tell her about Kate and J.T and their upcoming arrival. Claire made appropriate noises, oohing over the happy parts and ahing as I presented the questions that had come to mind.
After we had investigated every nook and cranny of this issue, the tables turned over to the piece I had written last week.
With only the slightest tremble in my voice, I began to read for Claire what I had written. By the time I finished, there were tears in Claire’s eyes.
“It’s ok to be scared of the dark,” She told me.
I remember when I was little, how I used to be scared of the monsters under my bed that appeared in the cover of night. I would beg my dad to come into my room and check under the bed. He would assure me time and time again that there was nothing there before I would finally drift off to sleep, the covers pulled up under my little chin.
Now, I am realizing, there are still monsters under the bed. They might be different monsters, no longer the same ones that lurked in my room as a child. They are the monsters of fear, the unknown, doubt and regret.
They’re not so easy to spot as the ones that hid under my bed once upon a time. These ones lurk in the dark corners of my soul, ready to pounce whenever the opportunity arises.
I have learned that in those long night hours, when sleep won’t come and you’re forced to lie there and think with nothing to distract you or to cause your mind to drift away, that’s when the monsters come out to play.
After all these years, I realized, I’m still scared of the dark. And getting rid of them isn’t as simple as Daddy coming in with the flash light.