Another Sunrise

Roar

So chin up. Put your shoulders back, walk proud, strut a little. Don't lick your wounds: celebrate them. The scars you bear are the signs of a competitor. You're in a lion fight. Just because you didn't win doesn't mean you don't know how to roar

Quotes

One thing I love is quotes. I love that feeling when you find just the right quote, or when reading something that someone else said brings you encouragement or hope. So, recently, I've been looking up quotes and keeping some of my favorites in a word document. I want to share some of my favorite one's with you guys. Maybe they'll be what you need today

Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful is recognizing what you have for what it is, appreciating small victories admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know and maybe we're thankful for the things we will never know. At the end of the day the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field.

It comes in waves. There's a lull and then another wave hits you. I just wanted you to know that it’s okay not to be fine sometimes.

Well, I'm going to get out of bed every morning...breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out....and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how great and perfect I had it once

You can't change who people are without destroying who they were

Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better, & that something is worth fighting for.

We like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and soak up new experiences, but the fact is, we're always terrified

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever

You should never take life too seriously - no one ever makes it out alive!

Squeeze

I see him standing there, in his uniform, looking as handsome as ever. His blue eyes are twinkling, his mouth turned up in a half smile. I take a step towards him, stretching out my hand, my pink dress swishing at my feet. His eyes look right into mine and...

"Rachel! Come on, look at me, baby, open your eyes. I need some help in here!" The frantic crys of my husband fill the air. "Come on, Rae, stay with me," He pleads as he begins CPR on my limp body

He's still standing there. I want to run to him, to touch him, but I can't. It's like I'm stuck. I can't go up or down. I can't move. I can't control anything. It's like I'm drowning

"Kyle! Move! Get the crash cart!" I can hear their screams as I'm slipping away. A nurse brings in the crash cart and they jolt my body. I can hear Kyle's sobs. I want to go to him, to tell him I'm alright. But I'm not. I know this by the way they jolt my still body. I'm dead

He gives me a smile just as he turns to leave. "NO! Justin! Don't leave me!" He takes a step towards me. "Not yet, Rae. Go. I'm ok. I'll see you one day, but not now. They still need you." He stretches out his scarred hand, scarred from the bomb, the one that killed him, until only inches seperate us. "Go," He says as he turns and walks away.

"We got a faint signal." I know everyone is holding their breath, in hopes that I might return to the land of the living. More orders are yelled

The best day of my life. There he is, his face glowing. My groom is waiting. I take his hand. we repeat after the minister, we say our vows, we kiss. He carries me back down the aisle because I'm too weak to walk. In his arms, I am safe

"We're getting her back." A hand takes mine. Kyle's hand. "Come on, Rae. You can do it, baby. Come back to me."

The worst day of my life. She lay in the casket as we set it in the ground. My beautiful baby girl. She died in my womb, a miscarriage. My darling Sarah Isabel Katherine will forever lay on a bed of satin. Her uncle Justin will take care of her, this I know. Kyle holds me close, holds me up. "It was a miracle she survived as long as she did," The doctors told me. Kyle holds me up as I bury my baby

"Rachel? Rae, honey, can you hear me? Wake up baby. squeeze my hand if you can hear me." I push past that barrier, break through the water in which I was drowning, and, even though it takes everything in me, I do the one thing I can. I squeeze.

Do you hear what I hear?

I hear the wheels of the office chair, scraping on the hardwood. I hear Jaxon singing at the top of his lungs "You spin my hair right round right round, like a whippersnapper!" I hear the other 2 kids singing it back at him, as loud as they can, trying to show him how loud he is. I hear the other 2 playing with lego, making gun noises. I hear lego rattling around in the bucket. I hear the dishwasher running, my computer running and my fingers on the keyboard. I hear, mostly, happy voices.
I see my computer screen, my fingers typing out the letters on the keyboard. I see the living room, and the kitchen. I see a half eaten cookie on the table. Once in a while, I see a little brown boy, flying down the hall on his chair, looking at me and going "Did you see that 'Lish?" Yep, I saw that.

I feel the chair beneath me, the computer on my lap, the blanket covering me. I smell the fresh cookies my mom baked earlier. I can still taste that amazingly tasty half a cookie I had after they came out of the oven. There's a million little thoughts in my head, most of them meaningless. "Lisha? Can you help me put on my stuff?" Yep, I can. He takes my hand and leads me to where his snow stuff is waiting to be put on. He holds on to my shoulder as we get him into his snowpants, zip up his coat, put on his boots, hat and mitts. And then they're gone. The house is quiet. No more noise. Silence, except for the hum of the dishwasher, my fingers on the keys. Yep, they drive me crazy. Sometimes all I want is that little bit of silence. But when everyone is gone, the house is still, I miss that noise. I miss that little guy who sang Carrie Underwood as I was buttoning up his coat. I miss the older two, playing with their lego and talking about video games. I miss the wheels on the hardwood floor. Soon they'll come in and they'll start making noise again. soon I'll be there and wishing for here. But a house is not a home with no one to share it with. I'm glad I get to stay here, at home, for a little while longer. Because, as much as I like to think other wise, I would miss it here. What do you hear?

The little things

Sometimes it's the little things that make a big difference in a day. Those little things that make you smile but don't really seem that big when you think back. Recently, I've started making a list before I go to bed of everything I was thankful for in that day. I come up with things like an amazing youth group who makes me laugh, grey's anatomy nights, that feeling of peace or love or joy or whatever I'm feeling that day, talking to my friends or comments from people that made my day. Before I started making my lists, I would think back over my day, but I wouldn't see those tiny details that made all the difference. I wouldn't think that I was so thankful for grey's anatomy because it was a break I needed and it gave me something to look forward to all day. I wouldn't think that what that person said to me at church made me smile. I would focus on everything bad that happened that day, like failing a test or getting bad news or having a fight with a friend. I'm realizing that the little things can have a big impact on my day. I'm thankful for those little things that make me smile and give me hope on a crappy day. The little things that give me hope every day reminds me of how blessed I really am. And when I start actually telling God that I am thankful for those things, things start to change. It's not all, today was so horrible. it turns into, today was horrible BUT I found hope in this or this made me smile and gave me the strength to keep going. It's in those little things where I find hope on a day where I just can't do it anymore.
So, here are some of the things I am thankful for on this fine day
1. pink pens
2. getting to show the new hosts the ropes, and being frozen by Jill so she could test out the buttons (SBW)
3. Lovely new Erynn Mangum books that make me laugh and cry all at the same time (Maybe I'll review one soon)
4. random conversations

ok, so that's just some of the things I am thankful for today. What are you thankful for today? What's giving you hope?

Just a lil' bit of what I've been writing recently

"I'm just saying, it's a lot harder to put a band-aid on a broken heart." Something flashed across her eyes and she opened her mouth, like she had something to say, then closed it again. "I don't care what Riley says about me. I... I know what a broken heart is. I know what's it's like to lose everything. I'm living with a freakin' brain tumor! Riley can't take anything from me. He has no power to make me who I am. He can say what He wants. BUt He can't DO anything to me. He has no power over me." For a minute, I saw Allie, the real Allie. I saw the Allie who is passionate and strong and beautiful and bold, outspoken and optinionated, courageous and brave. I saw the Allie who has to wake up each day facing the fact that there is a tumor invading her brain, stealing her life away from her. I saw the Allie who is fighting back. I leaned in, my lips only inches from hers. In one smooth move, she placed her hands on my chest and pushed, ducking under my arm and fleeing from the bathroom. I followed her out and found her in the entry, lacing up her shoes. "I really do have to go," She said. "But," She moved closer to me, "I love you and I'll call you tonight." She kissed my cheek and let herself out.