The beginning

I'm finding the only way I can write these days is in my novel. I journal, and send the odd random text or email  to a friend, but whenever I try to write on the blog, I come up short. I end up staring at a blank page for a long time, wondering if I'll ever be able to find a way to say what I feel. Anyway, here's another bit of that novel I've been writing.


Wednesday, August 3
It was the most bizarre feeling, as there had been no tests done to confirm that there was anything wrong, and as I had just been to the doctor’s that morning. There hadn’t been anything to indicate that anything was awry.
But as I lay in bed that night, I wept. I begged God for this not to be the case, for Him to miraculously heal me. It was the first time I’d ever prayed for healing, remembering how, in the Bible, Jesus had healed the blind and the lame, the leper and raised the dead back to life. In that moment, I hoped for no less for myself.
I felt Him say “no.”
My rational brain tried to tell me I was crazy, but I knew. Not in that moment, but soon after, I began to praise the One who gives, and takes away.
And He saw me…
On that lonely July evening, He came and met with me. And He remained there… and remains there still. His peace wrapped around me like a blanket on a cool November night. These days are imprinted on my memory, as a reminder of the Father’s faithfulness. Despite the loneliness that plagues me, there isn’t a moment when I’m alone.
Who I was before, who I am now, the waiting, and the knowing, it is a treasure to me, something more valuable then healthiness itself.
He is here, close by my side, and there is something beautiful in the knowledge that I am not walking this road alone.
I’m wondering if God’s timing, and His revelation, has anything to do with a redemption for me? I’m wondering if it is His way of bringing back the one He loves.

Because he takes me dancing...

Came up with the idea for this story/poetic prose/ thing last night. I couldn't find (Didn't feel like getting out of bed to get...) any paper, so I ended up writing a line on my wrist, "Because he takes me dancing." Basically it's the story of a girl who's making the decision of who to love. The idea of writing the story came from a couple Grey's quotes and a Taylor Swift song. :)

Life is made up of choices. Yes or no, in or out, up or down, to love or to hate, to live or to die. What to wear, what to eat... who to love.
I loved them both. At least that's what I've always told myself. Both differently, both uniquely, but both love. Now, I had to choose. One left me with butterflies, our history chugging along behind us. The other was safe, secure, and comfortable. I wondered if the choice would break me. I worried about choosing wrong. But inside, I think I knew.
"Help me," I pleaded, " I don't know..." "But you do." Her eyes bore into mine. "You're just scared to do it. This back and forth, it's fear. But you know." The truth pierced my soul like flaming arrows. I knew, but did I have the strength to do it?
Leaving is hard. It breaks you, but as the old bricks fall new ones immediatly take their place. Alongside the confusion and the pain of leaving is the fear of starting all over again, and the smallest glimmer of hope. I put away the pictures, did my best to forget the memories. I would never forget, never stop loving him, but with a heart full of sorrow I turned towards my future and didn't once look back.
Before him, I never thought of myself as good enough. But then I loved him, and he showed me that I am. I know now that I am good enough. I am good enough not to deserve this. To deserve not to feel like this, to love him so much that I almost hate him. To not deserve the constant qurstions that nag me: Who does he love? Is he making her laugh like he used to make me laugh? I know now that I deserve someone who will stay, someone who will love ME.
It hurts to walk away, but I know now I deserve more. So I'm walking away, from him, for me. I'm walking away because I'm learning to love me, learning that even though it's hard I need to do this for myself. I can't make any promises about the future, or if someday I'll find my way back to him. But I known now what I need to do, for me.
So I choose him, the other guy. I choose him because he takes me dancing, leading me and laughing with me when i forget the steps. Because he sings over me and reminds me of whose I am. Because I feel safe and it's easy yet beautiful, it's effortless. For now, I choose him.
I will always love them both. Both differently, but both love. Both hold pieces of my past, but the jury's still out on who will hold my future.
Life is made up of choices. Yes or not, in or out, up or down, to love or to hate, to live or to die, What to wear, what to eat... who to love.

Big News

I do have some big news for today... but I'm gonna make you wait.
So I'm home from Miette. It was ok/good. I was still in pain, which ruined the trip just a little bit. I took lots of pictures, but none worth showing. Mostly they are for my new story. These characters have been living in my head for a while, and since Friday they have been bouncing up and down and screaming in my head. I'll let you know that it's going to take place at a mountain top resort sort of like Miette. The two main characters are gonna be Ellie and Wes (It's a love story, of course.) And... well you'll just have to wait to find out the rest. But I am really excited about it and am ready to give these characters a voice and get their stories down on paper. Yay for Ellie and Wes and for them making me happy!
I finished reading some really good books. I was thinking about doing a summer reading list for this summer, just some of my favorite books that you guys could read if you're looking for something to read this summer (I don't know, do you guys read in the summer, or is that too school-like?) Anyway, that should be out in the next little bit if you guys are interested.
And... Here's the big news. I finished 'that' story today!!! The ending surprised even me. I was in the process of writing it when I put the first little bit on here, and now it's officially done. I had the genius idea for the ending last night, and finished it up just a few minutes ago. It's a little bit sad to be done with all these characters, but I totally loved writing this book, and I'm excited to see what you guys think as I post a little more on here, ending up in the whole novel, I hope. So that's my big news.
Hope you had a good weekend, and do something that makes you happy today. Things might be dark now, but it can't rain forever.

Overcoming ~ Ashley

Too tired and hurting too much to think of something amazing and smart to write, so instead, here's some more of 'that' story. (I really need to think of a better name for it. any ideas?) So meet Ashley...

Ashley
Bridgette called me later that evening. “Ash?” I could barely hear her through the phone. “Bridgette.” “Ashley, did you…?” “Yeah, I heard.” I had heard about Brooke’s death, her murder. “She was my sister, Ash. My Twin sister.” I could tell that Bridgette was crying. “I know, Bridgette. I know.” Bridgette was sobbing now, struggling to breathe. “Want me to come over?” I asked. “No, I’ll be fine. Ok, that’s a lie. I’ll stop crying. I just really need to be with my family right now.” She sniffed and sighed. “Ok. You know I’m here for you right, Bridgie?” “Yeah, I know.” Bridgette said goodbye before hanging up. I curled up on the living room chair, feeling hopeless, helpless. “You ok, Ash?” My Mom stood in the doorway, her eyes studying me carefully. “Not really.” She came and sat down on the sofa. “Wanna talk about it?” “It’s just Bridgette. I mean, I just got off the phone with her. I feel so helpless, you know. Her sister died, her twin sister. What am I supposed to do? I mean, she’s my best friend. Her and Brooke and me, we’ve all been friends since we were little. Now Brooke is gone. How are we supposed to deal with that? How is she?” My mom took a deep breath. “Those are a lot of deep questions, honey. Here’s what I say. Be what Bridgette needs. If she needs a distraction, distract her. If she needs someone to talk about Brooke with, be there. Don’t get all weird around her just because Brooklyn is gone. Bridgette is your friend, and she needs you now more than ever. And don’t get so caught up in Bridgette losing her sister that you forget to grieve for your friend. You loved her, Ashley, I know you did. I know you love Bridgette, and that you’re worried about her loss. That makes you who you are. Don’t lose that, Ash. Just make sure you leave time for you to grieve Brooke. You lost something too. Remember that.” “I will, Mom, thanks.” “Anytime, sweetie.” My mom kissed my forehead before returning to the kitchen. I sat in the over sized chair, in the dark, for a while. Somewhere along the way our trio became two. We lost one of the people that made us who we were. I secretly wondered if Bridgette and I would be able to overcome that?

Leave your comments, and let me know what you think.

The Last Night (Did I tell her?) ~ Bridgette

I'm one of those people who likes to read blog entries every day. So, when I started my blog, I wanted to be one of those bloggers who posted every day. So, here's some more of 'that' story. This is Bridgette, again.

Bridgette
I spent all of the next day in bed. People from the church came over, bringing with them dishes of food and cards and flowers. My father handled all of the door answering, and received most of the hugs and well wishes. Around lunch, Dad had called Aunt Beatrice to come pick up Mom and take her back to her place, because with every new round of well wishers, there were more tears. Everyone felt bad, of course, and apologized, which only made Mom sob harder. I didn’t feel like being around anyone today. Brooklyn and I usually handled all the family gatherings and potlucks together. We would sit in the corner and snicker about who brought what and who was with whom and who had a baby since we last saw them. The answer to the last question was usually second cousin Jane. She had 7 kids now, and last we knew she was expecting an 8th in the fall. Now, Brooklyn was gone and I was forced to face the wave of guests on my own. Everything around me reminded me of the sister I had lost. Her bed was still set up on the right side of our room, her clothes still lying in a heap from when she was trying to decide what to wear yesterday morning. Her hairbrush and makeup was still scattered all over her dresser top. Her things still littered the floor on her side of the room, but I couldn’t make myself pick them up. Brooke hated when I touched her things. When she came home, she would be so mad that I cleaned up. That was the thing with us, whenever we fought; we always made it up by bedtime. It was a rule of ours. I would never have to go to bed wondering if I would hear “I love you, Bee,” From the other side of the room. But Brooke wasn’t coming home. I would never hear her soft voice telling me that she loved me, telling me goodnight. I drew in a shaky breath. Closing my eyes, I replayed the last time I saw my twin sister alive. She was getting ready to go out, to some cheerleading thing I think. She was standing in front of the mirror, a different shoe on each foot, a different earring dangling from each ear. I was lying on the bed, reading a magazine. “You look fine, Brooke,” I had mumbled. Brooke took forever to get ready. “I want to look better then fine, Bee. I want to be stunning.” Brooke laughed, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “You always look stunning, Brookie.” I joined her over by the mirror, holding up a necklace for her to try on. Brooke smiled and took the necklace. “Too plain?” She asked, admiring herself. “Too perfect.” I giggled. “Here, wear these earrings with it, and those bracelets, and, there.” I stood back and admired my sister. “You look beautiful,” I whispered. “Awe, thanks Bridgie Bee, now which shoes?” Brooke stuck out one leg, then the other, letting me admire each shoe. “Stick with the one’s on the left. “ Brooke nodded and changed out the other shoe. “Hey Brookie?” “Hmmm?” “Have fun tonight, ok?” Brooke was re-applying some mascara, pausing mid stroke. “I will.” I flopped back down on the bed, smiling and watching Brooke finish getting ready. “Don’t wait up for me,” Brooke said, as she grabbed her bag and strode towards the door. “I won’t.” “Good. Love you Bee.” That’s where the memory stopped. Had I said it? Had I told Brooke I loved her too? Or had I done what I usually did? Had I just laughed, saying yep and telling her to have a good time? I couldn’t remember. I hoped it was the first one. I hoped that I had told Brooke I loved her. But she knew didn’t she? I lay there, my heart aching, more sobs with no tears threatening to spill over and burst my chest. “I miss you, Brooke,” I whispered to the empty room where her things lay. There was no reply. I cried harder

Feel free to comment and let me know what you think. I love reading comments and finding out what you guys think.

There goes my life ~ Michael

Why is it that I'm never able to say what I want to say? Maybe today it's because I'm doing my best to be kind and considerate. Maybe it's because if I said everything else, this would be a very boring blog post. Maybe it's because I can't even find the words to express what I'm feeling. So for right now, here's some more of *that* story. So, today, meet Michael

Michael
I was heading out the door for early morning football practice the next morning when I noticed my mom sitting at the table. My mom was never up when I got up for practice. “Everything ok, Mom?” I said, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket. “Michael.” I grabbed a bottle of water and threw it into my backpack, along with my text books and lunch. “Michael.” I took a bite of the apple, the juice dribbling down my chin. “Michael Eric!” She had my attention. “Yeah.” I leaned up against the counter. “Mr. O’Roark called last night.” “To plan another dinner I need to attend?” I asked, giving a slight chuckle. “Honey, Brooke died last night.” Her words caught me by surprise. “What?” I laughed again, but it was an awkward laugh. “Brooke died last night. She was murdered. They found her body.” “Are… Are they sure? What if it’s Bridgette? They do sort of look alike.” It could have been Bridgette, right? Brooke would be devastated but they could get through it. They loved each other. “It was Brooke. Bridgette was at home, and she had ID on her. It was Brooke.” I stared at my mother. If this was some kind of cruel joke, it wasn’t funny. “I’m sorry.” “No! No!” My voice got louder and louder. “I’m so sorry.” My mom was crying softly, sniffling and dabbing at her eyes. “She, No! Brooke is not dead, Mom. She’s just late coming home. She’s at a party, she’s in the hospital, but she’s not dead.” My voice was firm, leaving no room for arguments. My mom just nodded. Brooke was gone. My Brooke was gone. The only girl I’d ever loved was gone. We were going to get married. We were going to have the American dream, the house with the white picket fence, and 2 kids. This wasn’t happening. “I’ll call your coach,” My mom said, leaving the room. I dashed for the sink, dry heaving. My stomach churned. This wasn’t happening. I wiped the mucus that I’d managed to cough up from my face. Brooke was dead. My dreams, my life, had died right along with her.

Feel free to comment, as always. I love hearing what you guys think.

The End as I knew it ~ Bridgette

I can't find the words to talk today. Instead, Bridgette's gonna talk. This is the continuation of the first little intro piece I posted a few days ago, the begining of the end. So meet Bridgette.

Bridgette
It was 11:30pm. I was on the couch, watching a TV re-run of American Idol, eating popcorn. Mom was sitting in the chair, flipping through a magazine. Dad was in his office, going over some last minute details for work tomorrow. The knock came around 11:00pm. Mom set down her magazine and went to answer the door. I went back to my program, shrugging it off. Then I heard it, hysterical weeping. Dad and I reached the door at the same time. My mother collapsed into Daddy’s arms, wailing. “My baby!” I glanced up at the person who dared knock on the door at this time of night and give my mother the sort of news that would make her fall apart. It was a police officer, his eyes cast down. “What’s going on?” I screamed, getting worked up by my mother’s hysteria. “Bridgette, calm down!” My father ordered, holding up my mother where she had fallen limp. “No! I want to know what happened!” I was crying now, the emotion of everything getting to me. “Tell me what happened!” “Honey… they found Brooklyn.” The way my father said it made my heart sink. “What do you mean they found her? Did they bring her home? Is she waiting outside? Is she drunk or something?” “Bridgette, they found her body. She was murdered.” Before my father could finish his sentence I hit the floor. “Bridgette.” “Bridgette.” Everyone around me called my name. My mother stopped her crying long enough to look at me and utter my name. My father kept saying my name over and over again. The police officer just stood there awkwardly. I just laid there. The world floated over me, as if I was under water. This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t. Everything was fine. Brooke would come bounding in the door in a few seconds, apologizing for being late, again. She couldn’t be dead. She just couldn’t be. Because I didn’t know how to exist in a world where my twin sister didn’t.

As always, comments would be appreciated.

The Begining of the End

So here's the begining of a story I started writing. Let me know what you think. I might post more parts of it later on, if you guys enjoy it. So... yeah, let me know what you think. This is the first paragraph, which is also the first chapter, or the Prolouge or whatever. So give me your comments. Can't wait to see what you think. :)



I didn’t mean to kill her. But as I stood there, a pile of her blood pooled at my feet, I knew I had. Her body had been drained of all color, her eyes staring up at me, lifeless, filled with horror. My hands trembled as I looked around the room. My eyes landed on a blanket that had been carelessly tossed over the back of the couch. I laid the fabric over her limp body. I kissed my hand and pressed it to her cold forehead before covering it with the cloth. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. Then, leaving her cold body on the floor, I snuck out the backdoor.

I have some news!!!

Guess what? I'M GETTING PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just found out today that one of my short stories, Ashley's Heart, is going to be published! I'm a published author!!! Does that not just sound amazingly cool?!?!!!! WOW. I still can't believe it. God is Good!!!

Squeeze

I see him standing there, in his uniform, looking as handsome as ever. His blue eyes are twinkling, his mouth turned up in a half smile. I take a step towards him, stretching out my hand, my pink dress swishing at my feet. His eyes look right into mine and...

"Rachel! Come on, look at me, baby, open your eyes. I need some help in here!" The frantic crys of my husband fill the air. "Come on, Rae, stay with me," He pleads as he begins CPR on my limp body

He's still standing there. I want to run to him, to touch him, but I can't. It's like I'm stuck. I can't go up or down. I can't move. I can't control anything. It's like I'm drowning

"Kyle! Move! Get the crash cart!" I can hear their screams as I'm slipping away. A nurse brings in the crash cart and they jolt my body. I can hear Kyle's sobs. I want to go to him, to tell him I'm alright. But I'm not. I know this by the way they jolt my still body. I'm dead

He gives me a smile just as he turns to leave. "NO! Justin! Don't leave me!" He takes a step towards me. "Not yet, Rae. Go. I'm ok. I'll see you one day, but not now. They still need you." He stretches out his scarred hand, scarred from the bomb, the one that killed him, until only inches seperate us. "Go," He says as he turns and walks away.

"We got a faint signal." I know everyone is holding their breath, in hopes that I might return to the land of the living. More orders are yelled

The best day of my life. There he is, his face glowing. My groom is waiting. I take his hand. we repeat after the minister, we say our vows, we kiss. He carries me back down the aisle because I'm too weak to walk. In his arms, I am safe

"We're getting her back." A hand takes mine. Kyle's hand. "Come on, Rae. You can do it, baby. Come back to me."

The worst day of my life. She lay in the casket as we set it in the ground. My beautiful baby girl. She died in my womb, a miscarriage. My darling Sarah Isabel Katherine will forever lay on a bed of satin. Her uncle Justin will take care of her, this I know. Kyle holds me close, holds me up. "It was a miracle she survived as long as she did," The doctors told me. Kyle holds me up as I bury my baby

"Rachel? Rae, honey, can you hear me? Wake up baby. squeeze my hand if you can hear me." I push past that barrier, break through the water in which I was drowning, and, even though it takes everything in me, I do the one thing I can. I squeeze.

Just a lil' bit of what I've been writing recently

"I'm just saying, it's a lot harder to put a band-aid on a broken heart." Something flashed across her eyes and she opened her mouth, like she had something to say, then closed it again. "I don't care what Riley says about me. I... I know what a broken heart is. I know what's it's like to lose everything. I'm living with a freakin' brain tumor! Riley can't take anything from me. He has no power to make me who I am. He can say what He wants. BUt He can't DO anything to me. He has no power over me." For a minute, I saw Allie, the real Allie. I saw the Allie who is passionate and strong and beautiful and bold, outspoken and optinionated, courageous and brave. I saw the Allie who has to wake up each day facing the fact that there is a tumor invading her brain, stealing her life away from her. I saw the Allie who is fighting back. I leaned in, my lips only inches from hers. In one smooth move, she placed her hands on my chest and pushed, ducking under my arm and fleeing from the bathroom. I followed her out and found her in the entry, lacing up her shoes. "I really do have to go," She said. "But," She moved closer to me, "I love you and I'll call you tonight." She kissed my cheek and let herself out.

Telling Ashley Goodbye

"Are you scared?" I asked, taking hold of her fingers. She nodded, tears in her gorugous blue eyes. I wiped them away with my thumb. "It will be ok," I promised her. In a few minutes, they would take her away for surgery, a surgery that could kill her. "Caleb," She whispered. "It's ok, Ash." I crawled over the rail and lay beside her, taking her in my arms. Her tears fell on my tee shirt. I kissed the side of her head. "I'll be here when you wake up." "What if I don't wake up, Caleb?" Her voice shook. "You will," I said firmly. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. I ran my fingers through her short, blonde hair. "You're my princess, Ashley." "Maybe it's time for Cinderella to leave the ball." "Don't talk like that, you'll be fine." "I fought it, Caleb. I tried, but this is the end. I can't do this anymore. it's over." Hot tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away. "I love you, Caleb, with all my heart. you made my every wish come true." "I love you so much," I whispered softly. "It's time." A nurse came into the room. I saw Ashley's parents by the door. I held her hand as her parents hugged her and kissed her and told her they loved her. "Goodbye doesn't mean forever," Her dad said. Everyone was crying by the time it was my turn. I brushed back her hair and kissed her face. "You, my sweet Ashley, are still the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on." I walked beside her bed as they rolled her to the O.R. Her parents kissed her one more time and sat in the waiting room chairs. "Caleb, choose life," She whispered, touching the sides of my face. I took her hands. "I love you, never forget that." She nodded. "We have to go." The nurse tapped her foot. "Just wait," Ashley pleaded. She slid her necklace over her head and put it around my neck. "Goodbye doesn't mean forever," She said. "I know." I kissed her one last time. "I love you." She smiled and her fingers brushed my cheeks as she was rolled towards the OR. I grabbed her fingers and held them until she disapeered. I wanted to cry, but I knew tears would come later, when the doctors verified what I already knew. I had told Ashley goodbye for the last time.

Unanswered Questions

I finished it tonight. It wasn't like most of the stories I write. The ending wasn't closed off. There was still a lot of unanswered questions as I finished the book. I can't really say much without giving it all away, but basically it's the story of Jared, Trinity, J.T, Heather, Sheila, Darrel and McKenzie. It follows the characters over a month and a half, and their journies as their faced with an unthinkable situation. As I neared the end, I wasn't sure how it was going to end. I didn't think it would end like it did. I didn't think there would be so many questions unanswered. This is only the 3rd book I've written that's not in a series. The problem, I find, with writing only one book, is that I love finding out more about these people's stories and I hate to see them end when the book is done. But it is finished. Another story is complete. Like J.T said in the story, it's all over.

In The Real Life Of...

ME!!! Yes, In the real life of Alisha. So, you all might remember Nancy Rue and her book series called RL, Real Life. Anyway, she's starting up a page for her teen readers to share their stuff. Each month, one of her readers is chosen to do a mini interview, put up a picture, and do a little bit of her writing, mostly just poetry or a small bit of a story, not a short story though cause we need to keep it under 100 words. Anyway, I was the first reader chosen! I'm working with Nancy right now to get everything set up and it should all be ready to go by October. I just sent in my Q and A and my "mini story" thing tonight. My story was basically just the story, or the first 99 word of a story, about a girl who feels lost in her life and really learns to trust. I had to pick and choose but I think I picked a really good piece for the page. I'm really excited about doing all this. I still have to submit a picture, I'll have to take a new one cause I don't have one of me when I have my hair like it is now, but I don't have to have it all in until the last day of September. I'll post it on here once I decide on a picture, and post a link once the page gets all up and running. I just wanted you all to share in my excitment. I'm really excited for this opportunity and ready to go! I can't wait until everything all get's up and running. Welcome, everyone, to the Real Life of Alisha!

The end of the begining

So, it's not about my trip but I thought I'd fill you guys in on what's been happening. Two days ago, I went to see Eat, Pray,Love, the new Julia Roberts movie. It was a pretty good movie, I liked it. I liked the way it showed the lessons that Julia's character, Liz, learned throughout the movie. Yesterday, we all went to collect bales. I drove the truck and only hit one person. Ok, It was my first time driving by myself (Gas peddle and all) and, in my defense, my dad said to go. how was i supposed to know that my brother was behind the trailer when I hit the gas? Well, he wasn't hurt too badly, he was still walking. :) This morning, I went to the orthodontist. I have to get two teeth pulled next Wednesday, and maybe, braces. I think, if my teeth aren't bothering me, then why fix them, but I didn't major in dental school now did I? I got my hair cut today. It's short again, but not too short. It's sort of to the middle of my ears, and all choppy like. It's really confusing to explain. We're going camping tomorrow. We picked up the camper today. And I finished the book I'm writing last night. It was the last one in the series. So exciting! It's the end of the begining. Can't wait to see what I'll come up with next :)

You asked for it....

Alright, you asked for it. here's another little piece of Shane's story. Hope you guys like it, and as always, your welcomed to give me your feed back ;D
"Shane Carmichael you need to clean up your act," The man across from me, my principal Henry Bark, glared at me, looking like he wished he could reach over and wipe the smug grin from my face. I folded my arms over my chest and glared back at Mr. Bark. "Shane, I know your better then this stunt then your pulling now," He tried again, sighing and wrapping his fingers around the arms of his chair. I leaned back in mine, rocking it on its back legs. " Do you?" I asked in a sarcastic tone. "Do I what?" Bark asked, folding his arms over his chest in a way that was similar to the way I had mine. "How do you know I'm better then this?" I emphasized the word better. "Your just hanging out with the wrong crowd, Shane, if you tried...""What's to say I'm not?" I retorted. Mr. Bark sighed and grabbed a pencil off hyis desk, twirling it between his fingers. I almost laughed but it came out in a half whisper and barely made it out of my mouth before it silenced, echoing in the room for a few seconds before it was snuffed out like a candel. "Shane, what do you want to do with her life?" Mr. Bark asked. "I don't know," I chuckled. "Come on Shane," He tried me again. I thought for a minuet before I answered. "I want to be a lawyer," I said, dropping the tough guy act. "Ok, now we're getting somewhere," Mr. Bark's eyes softened a little. "Then work for it, if you want to be a lawyer, go for it," Mr. Bark said. I looked at him in disbelief. I'm sure my jaw dropped to the floor. My chair landed on the floor with a thump. "You heard me, go for it, Shane," Mr. Bark gave me a half smile. "I'm in grade 12," I regained my composure. "Yeah, and I'm 51," Mr. Bark replied. I glared at him, not getting his point. "What I'm trying to saty is go for it, Shane, don't let age stop you. You'll be graduating in 3 months, get it together, Shane," Mr. Bark said. I nodded and swallowed the lump growing in my throat. "Thatta boy" He touched my shoulder. "I took the liberty of signing you up from some extra curricular activites here at school," Now it was my turn to grow. "Like what?" I finally asked, my tough guy persona back in play. "Tutoring under privaliged kids, helping the grounds crew and a few select students clean the grounds at lunch on Monday's," Mr. Bark explained. I raised an eyebrow. "Get it together," He reminded me. I nodded. "Now get to class," He shooed me out the door.

Okay, you asked for it and I gave it to you
let me know what you think

Your Pick

When I started this blog I was sure I was going to have so much to write about I would want to write more then once a day. How wrong I was! Sure, I have things to write about, but not interesting things. My life isn't all that interesting, it's not totally crazy and if something does happen, it's usually not that exciting and I'd rather not bore you to tears as I talk about it. But now, I have absolutely nothing to write about so I'm giving you a chance to pick what you want me to talk about, because I have nothing and I want to write more. odd huh, how I want to write but I have nothing to say. So comment and tell me what you want me to say, and I'll pick one and talk about it :D
Can't wait to hear what you're going to come up with

Shane's story

As most of you know I love to write. I write everything from books to poetry to music. I spend time finding just the perfect name, or title or plot or theme. This is the prolouge for one of the series I'm writing,Shane's story. Let me know what you think,
'Sometimes there is a love so deep, so true, so real, that it changes the course of history for two people. That was the kind of love I had with Carrie. A love that made me want to be a better man, made me feel emotions I'd long since forgotten. Somtimes I wonder if I could ever love someone as much and as deep as I loved Caroline. Carrie showed me how to hope, and look for the sunshine behind each and every grey cloud. I became a new man after I met Carrie. We had a love so deep that no ocean, valley, no amount of time or person could come between us. No one made me feel like I did when I was with Carrie. When I see a young couple, laughing and smiling, I think of me and Carrie. I wonder if they will ever get to feel the kind of love that I felt. As I drift back into years of memories, remembering the time I spent with Carrie, I can't help but smile. Our love was like that. The memories never fail to make me smile. As I remember the emotions I feel the same ones I felt when I was a boy. I can still remember each detail of my story, still see it as if it is a motion picture, unfolding before my very eyes. I can still smell the scents and hear the sounds. I can still recount the events as if they happened yesterday. If I close my eyes I can still picture that brunette haired, brown eyes girl that showed me how to truely live. So I close my eyes and, for a moment, I remember. I can see it all so clearly, the lines so crisp and vivid. I am not a fourty four year old man anymore. I turn back the clocks to when I was seventeen years of age. Everything around me fades away, and for a moment, I just remember'

So let me know what you think. I hope you guys like it, I am so nervous to find out what you're going to say.
waiting (in) patiently
Alisha