Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Squeeze

I see him standing there, in his uniform, looking as handsome as ever. His blue eyes are twinkling, his mouth turned up in a half smile. I take a step towards him, stretching out my hand, my pink dress swishing at my feet. His eyes look right into mine and...

"Rachel! Come on, look at me, baby, open your eyes. I need some help in here!" The frantic crys of my husband fill the air. "Come on, Rae, stay with me," He pleads as he begins CPR on my limp body

He's still standing there. I want to run to him, to touch him, but I can't. It's like I'm stuck. I can't go up or down. I can't move. I can't control anything. It's like I'm drowning

"Kyle! Move! Get the crash cart!" I can hear their screams as I'm slipping away. A nurse brings in the crash cart and they jolt my body. I can hear Kyle's sobs. I want to go to him, to tell him I'm alright. But I'm not. I know this by the way they jolt my still body. I'm dead

He gives me a smile just as he turns to leave. "NO! Justin! Don't leave me!" He takes a step towards me. "Not yet, Rae. Go. I'm ok. I'll see you one day, but not now. They still need you." He stretches out his scarred hand, scarred from the bomb, the one that killed him, until only inches seperate us. "Go," He says as he turns and walks away.

"We got a faint signal." I know everyone is holding their breath, in hopes that I might return to the land of the living. More orders are yelled

The best day of my life. There he is, his face glowing. My groom is waiting. I take his hand. we repeat after the minister, we say our vows, we kiss. He carries me back down the aisle because I'm too weak to walk. In his arms, I am safe

"We're getting her back." A hand takes mine. Kyle's hand. "Come on, Rae. You can do it, baby. Come back to me."

The worst day of my life. She lay in the casket as we set it in the ground. My beautiful baby girl. She died in my womb, a miscarriage. My darling Sarah Isabel Katherine will forever lay on a bed of satin. Her uncle Justin will take care of her, this I know. Kyle holds me close, holds me up. "It was a miracle she survived as long as she did," The doctors told me. Kyle holds me up as I bury my baby

"Rachel? Rae, honey, can you hear me? Wake up baby. squeeze my hand if you can hear me." I push past that barrier, break through the water in which I was drowning, and, even though it takes everything in me, I do the one thing I can. I squeeze.

2 comments:

Tess said...

Did u write that? It is amazing! I love it!

Alisha said...

I did, thank you. Glad you like it