Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Not My Will be Done

Today was... Interesting.
Didn't get much sleep last night, which wasn't good because I was REALLY tired. I had a fever/was really hot until around midnight when the meds kicked in. So ended up not falling asleep till around 3am, but did get some reading done (Started reading 40 weeks, that book I was talking about that my friend's mama wrote, and am loving it!)
Got up this morning and did some school, and am now babysitting while my mama get's a facial. I think it's easy to see who got the better end of the deal there. We ended up having destroyed mac and cheese for lunch. (Literally. I tried to make the home made stuff, and it ended up looking some what like mac and cheese clumps drowned in milk.) But the kids are eating it, which makes me happy. It did taste a lot better then it looked.
So while I was doing school, my mom called the hospital. She was gonna try and see when they could get me in to see the doctor down there to see when they could get me in for testing so they could maybe figure out the cause of all this pain. We were gonna try and book it for June, which is when we have to go down there anyway and see the other doctor, but the other doctor (The one I go to all the time) Isn't booking at the moment, so not even sure when we're gonna get down there to see anybody. As much as I didn't want all these tests to begin with, I am so sick of all this pain right now I just want them to do the testing and find out what's wrong with me. But now I'm not sure when that's gonna happen...
I took some more meds earlier, but they don't seem to be helping much. I am so tired from the lack of sleep. Hoping I'll maybe be able to get some rest later on.

I'm tired and sick
I want to be done with this body that is filled with sickness
I want to be healed and whole
Because there are days when it's all too much
And then I hear it
Someday, I will be healed and healthy and whole
Someday, I will be done with all this sickness and pain
Someday, I will look into my Father's face and know that there was a plan for this
Someday, It will be finished
But for now, I will look heaven ward...
And whisper through the pain
"Not my will be done, But Yours, Father"

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