Sunday, September 16, 2012

Seeing Miracles

Today is the last day of Invisible Illness Awareness Week. Tomorrow it will be one week since I got diagnosed.
Today I want to write about miracles.
I think, for me especially, I forget about miracles when I'm thinking about my illnesses. I think about how hard it is, and occasionally about the things I've learned, but how often do I stop and think about miracles?
This morning, I was holding my friend's newborn daughter, and she reminded me about miracles. She reminded me, with her tiny tiny fingers and her ten tiny toes and her eyes that watched me as I held her, that miracles happen. With her life, she reminded me that miracles are out there. She reminded me that I am a miracle myself.
When I went into my coma, and came out alive, it was a miracle. Everyone told me it was a miracle. There were people praying for me around the clock, I woke up, I had seen heaven and angels and come back to earth.
And then, when everything began to happen and I first began experiencing symptoms we would later find out was part of the Dysautonomia, I became angry. I told God if this was my miracle, if this was what I was going to get, if I came out of this coma and survived only to pretty much go through hell on earth I didn't want it.
I hear stories of kids who somehow pulled through, and came out fine, and are fine. And I got sick. And yet, that doesn't make me any less of a miracle. Even though my brain was injured, and I ended up with another chronic illness, it doesn't mean God was any less faithful.
I am alive, and that is a miracle.
I know of so many children who were sick, and their families prayed, and people prayed, and still these kids didn't make it. And it's not because God was any less faithful. It was a miracle that they were here at all, that they lived, that they fought and defied the odds, and then they went.
My life is a miracle. Your life is a miracle. Every life, no matter how short or long, is a miracle.
Today, I remembered that life is a miracle. I believe miracles still happen, even though sick children still die and miraculously healed kids end up sick. I believe miracles still happen, and I even saw one today, as I held baby S in my arms.
I know God has a plan far bigger then my own, and that He will use this unexpected sickness to bring Him glory. He will use death and loss and sickness to bring glory to His name.

This week, one thing I hope you saw was that miracles do happen. Every life is a miracle, every life a gift, every life precious. More then I hope for awareness and a cure, I hope this week was about seeing miracles.

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