Sunday, September 2, 2012

I rescued him... and he rescues me

This afternoon, after church, we went out to visit our horses at the lease. On the ride back, I was already forming this blog post in my head...

The grass was swaying gently in the breeze. In some areas it was long, brushing my calves, and in other places it was dancing around my ankles.
Through the path we walked. On the other side lay a large pasture, and at the opposite end of the pasture lay horses, and there, in the back, that one over there, there was my baby.
The horses casually walked up towards us. My mom's horse immediately went over and snuggled her. The other horses pushed each other out of the way to get to the front, fighting for attention, to be noticed. And then, there at the back, was my baby.
He was mad at me. Apparently he was trying to tell me that I wasn't allowed to go away for so long and not see him.
Eventually he decided I had learned my lesson and came towards me. He gave me kisses, letting me wrap my arms around him and whisper in his ear how much I missed my baby and how handsome he looked.
As we walked back through the woods to our vehicle after loving on the horses for a while, I began to think.
Aren't I like that? Don't I, when I feel threatened or like I've been abandoned,try to distance myself to avoid getting hurt again?
Unfortunately I could take a lesson from my horse here because I all too often decide to stay in that place where I am distant and my walls are up around me, my sword and shield ready for battle, as if to say, "You can't hurt me now!"
Yeah, I could take a lesson from that big four legged boy of mine.
Let your guard down once in a while, it's ok to trust people and give them a chance. Sometimes, if you end up letting someone in, they may just surprise you. People make mistakes, be willing to give them a second shot. Don't hold on to your anger and pain and let it stop you from seeing all the blessings you could have received if you had just opened up and not let your anger be dominant.

I do that with God, all too often. Where were you when I was calling? Why did you abandon me? and the wall goes up.
I do that with my friends, if I feel like they are going to abandon me for any reason, even if that threat isn't real. All of a sudden the wall comes up, and I'm not open and real, instead I'm distant, and maybe even a little angry.
I do that with my family.

Maybe I need to work on that... Who knew I would learn so many lessons from my horse? I rescued him, but in the end it was him who rescued me.

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