Forest Green

I've started identifying each day with a color
Blood red, harsh pink, ocean blue
I write every day that today is harsh pink or today is burnt orange
I've been taking notes
Some of them in a running word document I have on my computer titled Remember this.
Remember the way you feel right now, remembering how it all was, remember how you felt, remember this. Sometimes the words are coherent, detailed accounts of what happened. Sometimes they are feelings, words I shouldn't say but write anyway, the honest truth. Sometimes it is only a sentence, or a color.
Today is blood red
There are years for questions and years for answers and so far this year has been one for being stripped bare, standing naked in front of people, wearing my heart on my sleeve, gasping for air, trying to understand this. I'm not exactly sure what kind of year that is, but I know this last month and a bit has felt like a sledge hammer to the stomach, kicking my spine. I keep choking on the truth, acting like I have something to prove.
I've been writing a lot, most of it broken records, the same thing repeated in a million different ways. It's not always polite and I'm learning that sometimes honesty isn't polite. I'm over using the word metaphor and the truth is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow.
Today is forest green. It's wrapping my mind around the truth and trying to get it right. It's too much poetry, not enough honesty.


"There are places inside me I'm still learning to love. They are shaped like God or cigarette smoke"

'Sometimes Emotions Are Wrapped Up In Music'

This year I kept a playlist all year long, adding to it songs that meant a lot to me through out the year. Looking back, it's something I'm glad I did. There are so many emotions frozen in music and it's good for me to look back over that playlist, and to over some of the writing I did early on in the year, and reflect back on everything that happened.
Tonight is filled with nostalgia, as Christmas always is for me. I took the opportunity to go through my 2013 playlist, and I thought I'd share it. This was my year, in music.

Begin Again - Taylor Swift
The Call - Regina Spektor
Braille - Regina Spektor
Moments - One Direction
It's Time - Imagine Dragons
Would It Matter - Skillet
Goodnight Moon - Go Radio
Iris - GooGoo dolls
Fix You - Coldplay
Ghost - Ingrid Michaelson
A Bird's Song - Ingrid Michaelson
Wherever - Kim Haller
Who I Am - Jessica Andrews
Worn - Tenth Avenue North
When A Heart Breaks - Ben Rector
Wild Horses - Natasha Bedingfield
A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
We Both Know - Colbie Caillat and Gavin DeGraw
Say - John Mayer
Roots Before Branches - Room For Two
You Have More Friends Than You Know - Glee
Everybody Hurts - R.E.M
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
Paper Doll - John Mayer
Roar - Katy Perry
Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Rey
Reno - Alex Woodard
Breathe (2a.m.) - Anna Nalick
Comeback Kid (That's my dog) - Brett Dennen
Cold Coffee - Ed Sheeran
Here's To The Good Times - Florida Georgia Line
The Struggle - Grizfolk
Wanted - Hunter Hayes
Wildfire - John Mayer
I Still Miss You - Keith Anderson
Blown Away - Carrie Underwood
Taking Chances - Celine Dion
Stupid Boy - Keith Urban
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
Payphone - Maroon 5
More Like Her - Miranda Lambert
Far Away - Nickelback
She's 22 - Norah Jones
Story Of My Life - One Direction
Sober - Pink
Playing God - Paramore
Manhattan - Sara Bareilles
Gone To Soon - Simple Plan
Untitled - Simple Plan
Jetlag - Simple Plan
Lucy - Skillet
Purple Sun - Samuel Larsen
State of Grace - Taylor Swift
22 - Taylor Swift
Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
Colder Weather - Zac Brown Band
Love The Way You Lie - Rihanna
Jar Of Hearts - Christina Perri
Elastic Heart - Sia
We Remain - Christina Aguilera
Come Home - One Republic
Saving Amy - Brantley Gilbert
Underneath The Stars - Kate Rusby

Maybe you would learn more about me by getting a list of the books I've read in 2013, or a list of things and people I've written about. But I think there's something to be said for the music that I've related to most over this year. Music that's happy, and heartbreaking. Music that's full of emotion and music that is fun.
Goodnight Moon reminds me of my friend, who stayed up with me into the wee hours of the morning, and then sent me this song. Jessica Andrews reminds me of my childhood, and the people I spent it with, and the time we requested that song on the radio and then sat around the tape player waiting for it to come on so we could record it. Natasha Bedingfield is for those nights when I just wanted to cry, and John Mayer is passing my driving test and lazy Sunday afternoons. Brett Dennen and Grizfolk are the concert that I'll never forget, and Carrie Underwood and Celine Dion are for the concert tickets I got for my sixteenth birthday. Pink was how I felt in July, and Rihanna was how I felt in February. There are songs about heartbreak, about losing people I thought I'd love forever, and for the people who could have loved me better, and the people I could have loved better. There's playlists for loss, and death, because saying goodbye is never as easy as it sounds. There's songs about dreaming and songs about surviving and songs about the state of my heart on any given Tuesday.
I think a lot of emotions can get wrapped up in music. And for me, that happened a lot this year.

Born this way

I think there's something to be said for suffering. We live in an age where we are so blessed that we can medicate when we need to; headaches, childbirth, dentistry, fevers, surgeries... But as a result, we've grown to expect less suffering in life - and in death. We even attempt to medicate heartbreak. Don't get me wrong - I've downed more than my fair share of painkillers when I've needed them - and I've dealt with the annoyance and frustration of suffering with migraines that hurt more than my natural childbirths. I've given medications or cough candies to my children... and while I understand that pain is not fun - and, yes, I do try to avoid it - or seeing my children in it, some days I wonder if we're trading off something precious when we make it our goal to avoid suffering completely.

1am had come and gone and thanks to some wonderful insomnia, I was still awake. Staring at the ceiling, journaling until my hand started cramping up and I couldn't think straight enough to finish a thought.
I was thinking about suffering.
In chronic illness, like in a lot of things, I think, there are a lot of misunderstandings. It leaves the patient (namely me, yesterday) feeling alone and frustrated. It feels like on top of actually feeling the physical pain, you have to defend it. Everyone seems to need a reason for why things are the way they are or why I'm feeling the way I am.
I'm tired of hearing everyone's opinions on how I should act or how I should treat my illness and my body. I'm tired of people in general acting like they have some sort of right to how I live my life.
And I feel like, in dealing with a chronic illness, people expect you to make yourself smaller. If you're having a flare, you have to have done something wrong. If you can't get out of bed in the morning or can't take a shower it's because you're not trying hard enough.
I think a lot of people expect patients with any kind of illness to be positive and happy all the time and that's really not true. And I feel like people are uncomfortable when they see that side that is real and honest and that really sucks sometimes.
"Stay in your little closet until you find a cure," They'll whisper, "Once you get a cure, then you can inspire people. But right now you're sick and unless you can pretend like that part of you doesn't exist then stay back."

I think, as a society, we're so quick to shrug off suffering. There's a quick fix for everything, even though it's not always that simple. One of the problems with this I see is that no one ever teaches you how to live with that pain or how to embrace who you are now.
Yeah, my life changed dramatically when I got sick. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. But I get treated like it is. I get shoved back into the corner, afraid to be myself because I'll be judged or pitied or whatever. I can't be real because that's wrong. I have to just sit there in my nice little closet and say magic words and believe I can get better and be positive all the time and then, once I get better, then I can come out.
I think more and more people are acting like suffering shouldn't be allowed. If you're sick, you take medicine and get better. If you're depressed, you take pills and make yourself happy again. As a society, I think we're uncomfortable with pain and suffering and anything that's different. There has to be something wrong with you and you have to fix it as soon as possible. And you better not inconvenience anyone with your pain. Basically sit down, shut up and smile.
I think this naturally brings me to a question of, "Do I want to be sick?" Well, obviously not. No human being in their right mind would choose agonizing pain and feeling misunderstood and being judged for something they can't control.
Do I believe I can get better? Yes. I totally believe if He wanted to, God could heal me.
Do I think it will happen in this lifetime? No, I don't. It's a possibility, but I don't believe it will happen, at least not in the way everyone expects it to.
But, here's the thing, and it's something I'm still learning too, there's nothing wrong with who I am right now. Being sick has taught me so many things and I've had so many wonderful opportunities and I'm proud of who I am. I don't ever want to make myself smaller or try to fit inside neat little boxes. This is who I am and I'm not going to stop being myself because it makes someone uncomfortable.
Being sick is a huge part of who I am. It impacts my daily life. And while, yes, it sucks, I wouldn't ever want to change it because it has made me who I am today. And I'm proud of that person.
I'm not looking for a quick fix. I'm not looking to make myself smaller and quieter and more socially acceptable. I don't want to hide those real honest parts of me and what I go through and just gloss over things and pretend everything is fine.
It's ok not to be fine. It's ok to be different. It's ok to fight and struggle and cry.
I am open to healing. I'm working every day on getting better and on feeling better. But right now, this is who I am. For the rest of my life, this will be who I am, regardless of whether or not I get a 'magic cure' or not. Every single day of my life I will fight and struggle and I'll have flares and be sick. It doesn't mean I did something wrong or that I could have prevented it. I can't live my whole life in the what if's.
I'm open to all the possibilities my future will hold. Maybe that does mean the doctors finding a cure for my diseases or maybe it means me having less flares and feeling better or maybe they won't find a cure and I'll spend the rest of my life walking this tight rope between feeling good and feeling like I got hit by a bus. And I'm ok with that.
Are you?
I'm doing this my way. I'm doing this honest and real and I'm not stifling myself to make you comfortable. I'm going to shine, either come with me or get out of my way.

It was a strange tingling that made her think of Phantom Limb Syndrome, but this tingling rested much deeper. She felt like parts of her soul were missing, had left her body long ago. It happened not 3 months ago in Greece but long before that. It was in Greece she realized those parts had left her and were not coming back.

 

Lessons from Karma

Today was one of those days when I kinda felt like a loser. It felt like the world kinda decided I needed things to be shaken up a bit and chose to dump some stuff on  me.                                                              There was a moment when all I wanted to do was cry, because seriously, I had no room for any more junk. I was done. I went upstairs, and looked out the window, and there were these adorable puppy eyes looking back at me, begging me to forget the world for a little bit and come out and throw a ball around. So I did, and here's what I learned...

1. It's ok to take time to be ridiculous. Sometimes it makes things better. As I watched Karma go into this crazy-run-around-the-yard and then she just plops down. She just took those two minutes to be ridiculous. And not only did she get whatever was bugging her out of her system, it made me laugh just to watch her be ridiculous! Sometimes being ridiculous is all it takes
2. As Karma lay at my feet, she offered up to me her belly, waiting for me to scratch her. She was laying on the ground, all fours up in the air, and she was trusting me to only touch her in love and not to hurt her. She was trusting me, and that kind of felt great. She was offering up to me herself, and she trusted me.
3. Really, my dog doesn't care if I look like a mess! She doesn't care if I feel like a loser that day. She doesn't make any rude comments about my new haircut (She actually doesn't comment at all!), She doesn't say "Seriously, what were you thinking? That was the stupidest move you could have made, you know better!" She was just happy I was there, loving on her and being with her.

She kind of reminded me of God. He doesn't care if I acted like a total brat today, or made the biggest mistake, or if I did something so loser-ish - and that I did know better. He calls me on my stuff, yes, but He doesn't shake His finger at me or call me names of make me feel like a loser so I'll straighten up. He just says to me, "Oh darlin', that wasn't the best decision you've ever made, but I love you more then life itself. I'll help you through this, just stick with me, my love."

He doesn't care if I'm a total mess up, if I'm disheveled and dirty. He's still offering out his arms, ready to pull me into his arms and rest my head against His heart.

All day there was one line of a song stuck in my head: "If I'm your beloved, help me believe it."

And He did, teaching me about love, through a dog named Karma

How Have You Seen God?

Almost every day that I was on the missions trip, and now that I have joined Ministry Team, my youth pastor always asks us one question, "How have you seen God today?"

On the Missions trip, I got into the habit of daily writing down how I saw God that day. Sometimes it would be something simple, something scrawled in my messy handwriting as I tried to document the day's events before I fell asleep. Sometimes I was more creative, using great detail to describe what had happened. No matter how I wrote it, I always wrote how I saw God.

That question has been coming into my head lately more often then not. And more often then not, I have a list of answers. My relationship with my Heavenly Father has become more tender as of lately. I'm having those realizations moments, the moment when I realize something I either didn't know before, or knew but didn't get. I'm hearing His voice as He whispers into my soul. I'm taking His hand and blindly following Him into the great unknown, trusting that even if I don't know, He does. Maybe it took me being helpless, for God to show me that He was able. I've had 2 prayers over the last week or so that seem to be repeated. Over and over I whisper these words, begging God to answer. One of those prayers, the one I have already seen being answered is this... "Break my heart for what breaks yours." It was not that long after I had found out about Sadie. I had all these feelings stuffed inside, of helplessness. I was choosing the role of a victim of childhood disease, one I knew how to play well, rather then the role of helping my hurting friend. I didn't want to be this person anymore, the person who knows what it's like to have your childhood stolen from you, this person who knows the grim reality of fighting a childhood disease. So I prayed, asking God to break my heart... for what breaks His. and He did. He softened my heart and showed me that it was ok to not know. I was in uncharted waters, I'd never been in this position before, watching the sickness go on without me. He showed me that it's breaking His heart to see little Sadie suffer, and that it also is breaking His heart to see me suffer. And I think that this heart break I'm feeling is only a fraction of what God must feel, when He see's us hurting. I think if I were fully able to experience the kind of pain God feels when we are suffering, I would be floored, paralyzed with grief. I don't think I could comprehend the kind of pain God feels, when He sees His children hurting.

The second prayer I prayed this week was this "God, hold what I can't." I prayed, and still am praying, this prayer at a time of helplessness. I asked God to hold together what I couldn't. I asked Him to hold Sadie, and her family. I asked Him to hold my best friend. I asked Him to hold me, to hold me as I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Because I am helpless in this position, but God is able.

So Now I ask you this question that my youth pastor asks me, "How have you seen God today?"

Is He there, rejoicing with You? Is His Peace evident in these rough waters? Or is it simply the quiet recognition that Yes, even now, He is here?

With All The Words In The World...

Today my youth pastor asked me to do something I'm not sure I'll be able to do, put into words the experience I had with the kids at Grace Point. Grace Point and the experiences I had there are high points of this trip for me. They are experiences that changed me and taught me so much, causing me to grow and learn. Putting these experiences into words is another matter entirely. How I'll put into words the amazing time I had there escapes me. How I'll put into words the things of God that happened while we were there, the relationships I built with some pretty amazing kids and the experiences and realizations I had that changed me, I have no idea. One thing I know for sure, if I want to describe Grace Point, really describe it, and my time there I'm going to need more then just a few minutes. To tell all the stories that touched my heart, to describe all of the people that impacted me so greatly, to talk about everything I learned on this trip, I'll need more like a few hours, if not more. The experiences I had at Grace Point were like a story written by God's own fingers. Every piece of that portion of our trip was more then I could have ever imagined. I was blessed in ways I didn't even know I was able to be blessed in, challenged in ways I didn't know I could be challenged in, grown in ways I didn't know I could be grown in. And even with all the words our there, how, may I ask, do you find words to describe what can only be described as a God thing?

My prayers are with a family whose little girl, only 10 months old, went to be with Jesus yesterday. She had problems with her heart and on her 10 month birthday, she finally went home. She's not in pain anymore, and she had no more struggles and a perfect heart. Please pray for her family as they grieve the loss of their baby girl.

Beauty from Pain

I was watching some old home movies today. I was watching them, and watching me, but it was like I was watching someone else. I was watching me, watching the easy way I was talking about being sick a lot and being in the hospital a lot. and it was like I was watching someone else. I know that I was watching me. But it was like I wasn't. I wasn't connecting the two, even though it's the same person. I was watching me, and my heart was breaking for this little girl who so easily talked about being sick. No little kid should talk so easily about being sick. About being in the hospitals so much and being sick lots. I was watching her/me, and I was hurting for her. I didn't want her to have to live like that, not when she was so young. I was hurting for her, because she was so little, and she should just get to be a kid. She shouldn't be talking so easily about being sick. I was watching her/me, and thinking it wasn't fair. And then, something clicked, and I realized that the little girl was me. I realized that the girl who was talking so easily about sickness and hospitals, was me. This girl who was having to deal with being sick when she should just be dealing with being a kid, was me. And my heart was breaking for her. I realized, watching little me, that a lot of people would say the same things about me right now. I should just be dealing with being a teenager. Not being sick. Not doctors and tests and constantly being aware. Lots of people would say that I'm too young for that. and maybe I am. But it feels normal to me. A little girl, a teenager, having to worry about being sick. ALL THE TIME. that's not fair, is it? It doesn't seem fair. I'm too young. That girl in the home movies is too young. It's not fair. But who said this world was fair? Growing up sick, as unfair as it is, has taught me so much, given me so much. It has taught me that I'm stronger then I know. It has taught me that the only limits I have are the one's I set for myself. It's showed me who I am. I've questioned God, and seen miracles. I've met so many people I would have never met otherwise. I've grown and changed, and learned that every single day counts, because it could be your last. I've learned, and am still learning, to never take anything for granted. I've learned what's importent in life. I've seen God's power in very real ways. And I know, that in the times when I can't deal with this anymore, that God's grace is enough for me. He'll be strong when I can't. He'll hold me when I can no longer stand. I've learned so much. So, as unfair as it all is, with all the times I just want to be normal, with all the times I don't want to have to be strong anymore, even with all of that, I wouldn't trade it. Because when I focus on the blessings and the opportunities, I don't think I would change a thing. I have seen Beauty rise from Pain

The Perfect Love Story

I was doing my devotions the other night, after a particularily stressful day, when I realized something. I had just finished my Bible reading (Luke 9: 18-28) and it was talking about how Jesus is in the drivers seat of my life and how we should not run from suffering, but embrace it. So, I had just finished reading that in my Bible, and I was sitting down with my journal and my lovely purple gel pen. I was re-capping my day, when I had one of those aha moments. It's like a moment where everything finally clicked and I got it. I was journaling about something I found, about how pain is pain. Every situation is unique. Like no one can know exactly how you're feeling because they have never been there. I found this quote on a website earlier that night (Before I was journaling) and I hope it sort of sums up what I'm trying to say. It says "Don't ever let anyone tell you that it's wrong or even feel guility for feeling what you are feeling. Yes, there are some who have it worse. But right now... what you feel is all your own." So I was journaling about that quote, when something hit me. My pain is all my own. No one gets how I'm feeling because no one has been there. yeah, it might not be the biggest thing in the world. But it matters to me. Just like what you are feeling could be way different then what I feel, but neither one is more importent. Pain is pain, and right now, the pain you're feeling matters to you just like the pain I'm feeling matters to me. I also realized that my pain matters just as much to God as that girl over there or that boy. It's not that somebody's pain is more importent. My pain matters to God because I matter to God. He cares about the things that hurt me, because He cares about me. He's going to be there for me, no matter what. He created me and He loves me, so much. Ok, my pain might not be the worst thing in the world. It probably isn't. There are a lot of worse things that are happening right then. But this is my pain and this is my hurt. It's hurting me, and that's hurting God. Yeah, there is so much going on in this world. Children are starving, parents are fighting, teenagers are trying to find that love they never felt when they were growing up. Bad things are happening and there are lots of things that are hurting people. What I'm going through might seem really un-importent compared to all those people. But you know what? What I'm facing matters to God. Even with all that stuff going on, what's happening to me matters to God. Does that not just blow your mind? Even with everything going on in this world, You and what you're facing matters to God. and, you know what? That hurt you feel is no less importent then the hurts of millions of people around the world. Your pain matters to God because YOU matter to God. My pain matters to God because I matter to God. I find it strange to think that with everything going on in this world, that God would still have time to care about those things that hurt me, that are probably so tiny compared to some of the other things people are going through. But what I feel matters, because I matter. I totally love just saying that, because it's true. I matter to God. He loves me and He delights in me. He has written my name on the palm of His hand and my laughter echoes off of his heart. He carries me when I don't have strength and He holds me when I cry. He's not leaving me alone to do this. He is with me, always. He does this all because He loves me, more then I could ever imagine. He loves me. I matter. Someone like me matters to the KING OF THE UNIVERSE!! Did you get that? Someone like you matters to God. He's not going to leave you out there alone. He always has time for you. Your hurt matters to God because You matter to God. What you're feeling matters because you matter. Do you love hearing that as much as I do? It's like, no matter what happens to me, if it hurts me, it matters to God. If I care about it, so does He. Why? Because I matter. Because you matter. To the KING OF THE UNIVERSE, we matter. If it matters to you, it matters to God. Because He is crazy about you. He loves you and He is never letting go of you. When He died on that cross, He thought of you. He thought of you, and even though He could have saved His own life, He didn't. He died, because He loved you so much. Isn't that the perfect love story? You matter to God. He loves you more then you will ever know. He is never too busy for those things that matter to you. He is always there, and He is never letting go. Do you believe that, really believe that? Do you believe that God could love someone like you? That you matter. He loves us. More then we will ever know. We matter. He has picked us and chosen us and taken us just as we are, broken and bleeding and at the lowest of lows. He has found us there, and He loves us anyways. He know's we'll mess up. He know's we're only human. He get's that we'll make mistakes sometimes. But no sin is too big for God to forgive. Nothing we could have done is so bad that God won't take us back, that He won't run to us with open arms when we come home. He loves us. Oh How He Loves Us.

What Can I Give?

Have you ever had those moments when you stare at a blank screen and wait, hoping some amazing burst of genius will come to you and you will have exactly the words to write? I'm having one of those moments right now. I continually come back to this blank screen and stare at it, hoping I can find the words that are amazing and inspiring and just the right words. Again and again, I leave the page blank, not writing anything. I have nothing that will inspire, nothing that will give hope or leave a mark on someone's life. I don't have answers, and I don't have anything to give. I am in this place, trying to come up with something, anything, to give that might be of worth. But that's the thing. I am trying to find something I can give that is of worth. But I don't have to bring anything. Just as I am, God takes me in. I don't have to have the right words, because God knows what is on my heart. I don't have to have all the answers, because He does. I don't have to come up with something worthy, because He just wants me, all of me. I am worthy. I don't need to wait until I have something to give, I can come as I am. As I am, empty, broken, with nothing to give. I can come and give Him my heart, give Him everything I have inside me, all of those feelings I can't put into words, all of those thoughts that haven't been voiced, all those questions I've never asked, all of those hopes and dreams and passions that lay unawakened inside of me. Like that song you usually hear around Christmas. What can I give Him, poor as I am? What can I give Him, as empty and confused and wordless as I am? Maybe when I'm full-er, maybe when I sort things out, maybe when I have the right words. But there it is, that tiny voice. Come as you are, it says. You don't have to have all the right words, just come as you are. You don't have to have anything to give, just give me your heart.
'What can I give Him, Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring Him a lamb
If I were a wise man, I would sure do my part
So What can I give Him?
I'll give Him my heart'

Afloat

in Matthew 14, verses 22-34, it's the story of Peter and Jesus, walking on the water. The disciples are in this boat, and there is this ghost, or what they think is a ghost. naturally, they are a little freaked out. but then Jesus calls to them, saying it is I, don't be afraid. and then Peter says, "Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water." So, Jesus told him to come. Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water to Jesus, but when he saw all the waves and the winds and the storm around him, he started to sink. It says in the Bible, immediatly Jesus caught his hand. "You of little faith," Said Jesus, "Why did you doubt?" Recently, I've been comparing this story to my life. When I took my eyes of Jesus and got caught up in the storms of my own life, I began to sink. I was so wrapped up in what was going on in my life and my own emotions, that I took my eyes off of the only one who could save me. I tried everything I could think of to try and save myself, but nothing worked, because when I take my eyes of Jesus, all the efforts I have are useless. But Jesus was there. He was waiting for me, waiting for me to call on Him. He took my hand, just like He did with Peter. "Why did you doubt?" He asked me. Why did I doubt? Why did I doubt that God was enough? Why did I doubt His power and think I had to do this on my own? Why did I doubt that He was there to help me and that, no matter what, I wasn't alone? Why did I take my eyes off of my only hope of getting through this life? God loves me, no matter what. The blessings I have in this life are just tiny whispers of His love for me. The people I have in my life, that I know will love me, no matter what, and are always going to look out for me, that's God's way of showing me that I'm not alone. When I took my eyes off of Jesus, I started to sink. But He was always there, waiting to catch me. in 2 Corinthians 12, it's talking about Paul and his thorn. He asked God to take it from him, and you know what God said? "My grace is sufficiant for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." When the storms of my life get to much for me to handle, I don't have to handle them alone. God is there, and He will fight for me. His power is made perfect in my weakness. When I am weak and can't do this anymore, God can. He will, because He loves me. Because I am His, He will carry me when I can't take another step. He will whisper promises over me. When I am weak, He is strong. that doesn't mean there will never be any more trials in my life. God didn't promise life would be easy, but He did promise He would never leave me. So when the storms of this life get a little crazy, God is there. He's waiting for me to call on Him. He'll hold my hand and help me through this. He'll stand beside me and hold me when I'm at the end of my rope. He'll whisper His love for me by providing blessings in my life. He's calling me, am I ready to listen? Am I ready to take Jesus's hand and trust that He will help me navigate the storms of my life? Because when I am weak, He is strong