My heart is so full it hurts. It’s not the bad kind of hurting though, the kind I’ve experienced far too much of these past few weeks. It’s the good kind of hurting, the kind when your heart is so full and it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can breathe. There are so many heartaches in life, so it’s nice for a moment to come along that’s full of good heartache.
I don’t know if I can even explain it, this kind of heartache that comes with realizing how, even admits all this trauma, incredibly blessed you are. It’s the kind that comes with being paid in flowers, of memories of that perfect Sunday afternoon, of reading a blog post that makes you smile on the inside because you just get it. It’s the kind of happiness that comes with knowing all your time spent watching the food network paid off because in your hands is the best dish known to man (Ok, not quite, but the best dish ever made by your ten fingers.) It’s sunshine and feeling brave and love and…do you feel it? It’s hope. Its hope and it’s shining and beckoning me to find room in my cold, tired heart for its candle. It can’t promise me much warmth, or much light, but it says that if I come close enough to the tiny flame, the cold darkness won’t be as noticeable anymore. It’s hope, it’s something I haven’t felt in far too long… and it’s beautiful.
(Ok, this is was from an interview that I did recently. Just thought I'd post it incase anyone wanted to read it. Yes, when I got the email asking me to do this I actually did laugh, because earlier that day I was talking to myself about this very issue, and deciding how bad it would be for me to try and give advice to other people when my life is so crazy and I feel like I know so little as it is. (Did you notice the last question?)