Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Fault in Our Stars

I'm not going to tell you that you have to go out and read this book. I am going to tell you what this book meant to me.
There was something so bittersweet about reading a book about two teenagers with cancer, at the same time as I am facing life as a patient of the medical world. It was hard and also wonderful for me to read about Hazel, the narrator, and her cancer, because it seemed as if the thoughts she thought in the book were the very same thoughts that had been running through my mind, and the words she said were the ones I only wish I was brave enough to say. I didn't know how to handle the emotions that came with someone so plainly stating the thoughts that had been jumbled up in my head for a while. I didn't know how to handle this book, which left me sitting on my bed crying, because it was so real, because I'd experienced it all, because I knew the pain and the hurt and the thoughts that Hazel knew, and because it was not just a story on a page, but it was my story. One of the things the characters said in this book often (Besides the word "Okay" - and anyone who's read this book will know what I mean) was that the world is not a wish granting factory. I had heard the statement before, but as I read it, something clicked in me and I 'got it.' One of the main things I got out of this book was about living, even if you don't know how long your life will be. It's about drinking champagne that tastes like stars and having picnics in parks and laughing and loving. It's about finding a forever, even though your days are numbered.

"You gave me forever within my numbered days and for that I am grateful."

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