I was just having a mini pity party. It's been a really rough weekend, and I was just feeling really alone tonight.
It's the kind of alone you feel when you know there are so many people that love you and care about you, but you just feel like no one really understands.
I was trying to focus on the positive and be all bright and cheery but I really just wanted someone to talk to who I knew understood. I was just feeling... blah. And I knew I could pick up the phone and text any one of my friends and that they would offer a listening ear and words of support, but I didn't feel like bothering them.
So I logged on to SBW, and I did some planning (for that top secret idea that's becoming a reality) and I watched some videos on youtube of some other inspiring gals with chronic illness.
And then I logged into my email account... and there it was. It was a comment on my last blog post, and the one sentence that stuck out to me was, "Sometimes I think the hardest part of being young and ill is feeling alone. So I just wanted to remind you that you're not."
So yeah, I'm in a rough place tonight, and I do really want someone to understand. But I'm not alone in this.
So today I'm gonna be thankful for people, in the middle of this big mess.
I'm going to be thankful for my daddy, who's text message brightened my day. Only a few more days until he's home, and I can't wait!
I'm going to be thankful for my friend Jorge, who's birthday is actually today! Last night, when my whole rough weekend began, he was there to talk to me and I know he actually understood. Every time I talk to him, he makes me day. Love that guy, and am so thankful he volunteers his time to talk with us sick teens over on StarBright World.
I'm going to be thankful for the wonderful woman behind that perfectly timed blog comment, and for all of the wonderful gals over on youtube who so bravely share their stories of their chronic illness journeys. It reminds me that I'm not alone, and I am so honored to be part of such a wonderful group of people. (Ok, I was trying to figure out some way to put the secret society of the sick into that sentence, but I couldn't figure out how it would work. Brain fog! anyway, I love that term!)
So there's my 30 seconds of optimism today. Time to go check my blood sugar (Another wonderful side effect of this rough weekend) and get my pump ready. And then it's time to curl up and watch a chick flick.
What is your 30 second optimism break today? What are you thankful for? And if you're having a pity party tonight too, come join me! we'll be pitiful together!