Monday, November 12, 2012

Even if the Healing doesn't Come

I guess I should probably update everyone who doesn't already know on how the rest of the trial went. I'm home now - catching up on some much needed sleep (Seriously, I am sleeping all the time! Crazy!)
Basically the second night of the trial wasn't any better then the first. At 1:00am (ish) when they checked my blood sugar I was already low, which gave me a panic attack.
I was just really freaked out over the fact that I was low already. Obviously I was glad they hadn't let me go to the hotel for the night, and I was just really uncomfortable with the whole thing. I don't think I really slept after that.
What kind of calmed me down was just knowing that whatever happens God is still God and He still has a plan for my life.
I remembered one of my favorite verses in Romans 8: 37 where it says "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."
I basically re-worded it and just said even if this trial doesn't work, I am still a conqueror because He loves me.
It was actually a really cool experience, and I just felt a sense of peace about the whole thing. I decided that I didn't want to stay and do the trial another night, I was done.
Around 6am my blood sugar went under that 'safe zone' and they had to do the IV rescue (Basically pumping me full of dextrose and then starting an IV drip to get my blood sugar back up)
When the doctor's came by in the morning I said I didn't want to do anymore, so they released me Friday morning.
And we went to the CFR that night and I got to at least fufill one thing on my goal chart by meeting a cowboy.

Coming home has been a lot harder then I thought it would be. It's really dissapointing to have this not work out. My parents are talking about maybe trying this again at home over Christmas break.
Right now I'm just trying to take one step at a time.
I'm still holding on to faith, believing God has a plan, even though the healing didn't come this time.

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