Friday, June 3, 2011


I feel like all I ever talk about lately is being sick. It feels like that's all I think about. I'm either thinking about the pain or discomfort that I'm experiencing or thinking ahead to the next test. I'm always having to mentally keep track of my blood sugar and when I need to eat and how I need to work my schedule around that. For me, doing anything else would be totally wierd, since I've been doing this my whole life. But there are times when I stop and think about how, to everyone else, how I live and function is wierd. It's wierd to think about sometimes. Sometimes I think about everything I missed. I think of the things I didn't get to do because I was in the hospital or things I can't do because I'm sick and doing them would be dangerous. Sometimes I feel sad, that I didn't get to have a 'normal' childhood. I know that I gained so much too, but sometimes it doesn't help. I still feel sad for what I lost, even knowing everything I gained.
Here's a list about other stuff I want to say, but that is too long to write about.

  1. The tests went ok, I think. I got blood work (Only needed two pokes!) an X-Ray, some breath test where I had to drink this really sour, powdery lemonade thing and breathe into a tube and an ultrasound. So much for the ultrasound being a painless test, cause it hurt.

  2. My stomach has been bothering me lots in the past few days (Since Wednesday.) I took some chewy things today that might help, and they tasted like I was eating chalk.

  3. It is snowing. In June. I was all depressed the other day because it was June and I wasn't ready for summer and there's still so much for me to do. And now it snows. I have a thought that maybe God is laughing at my worries and showing me that He is in control.

  4. I was sitting in the chair this morning, all curled up in a blanket. I had just taken those chalk things and still wasn't feeling any better, and I was tired from the lack of sleep last night. Jaxon asked if I was feeling good and I said no. "It's ok, I'll help you," He told me. He went off to get my comb and hair elastics and started doing my hair. It was so sweet.

1 comment:

Jocelyn said...

Awww... Jaxon is so cute! And what!!! Its snowing in June? That's crazy! It was in the high 20 degreeses the last 2 days here. And again, I'm praying for you! Love always...